Until When...

I have chosen you. So, I won't give up!

-Leahism-

Last Long People

"People come and go in your life. Only the one who understands and completes each other can be last forever."

-Leahism-

Leahism on Interpals

Since when do I like penpals? Since I sat in elementary school. Penpals or sahabat pena in Indonesian is one of my favorite things to do. Knowing people or having a new friend through writing letters or sending e-mails nowadays.

Lately I know Interpals from one of my Dutch tandem friends. Right after he had mentioned it, I signed up. I thought that it was a good site to refresh my memory about penpals. Hiep hiep hurrah!!!

Few days ago, I chatted with my fiance on FaceTime. The conversation as follows:

F: What are you doing?
L: Uploading some more pictures for my profile on Interpals. TO SEDUCE MEN THERE!
F: Waaaat? Hoezo? (What? Why? What do you mean?)
L: Because none of those girls on Interpals replied my messages. Except a Dutch girl who contacted me for the first time offering a help for my Dutch.

On this site, what I think ridiculous is the comment givers of a pictures. I saw that all of the them are women if the picture's owner is a man, vice versa. The comments are also I think quite standard and too much for just a normal picture.

LaFabulosa, 29 May 16
Awesome!

Ksenia0582, 27 Aug 26, 2013
Awesome pic!

Buttercreme, 40 Aug 19, 2013
Een echt goed beeld !

inspirationbyme, 29 Jun 20, 2013
very beautiful picture

LaLizabelle, 25 Jan 15, 2013
Awesome photo :)

Profile Deleted
wow..the background is awesome..where is this?

emzie2890, 24 Sep 24, 2012
Nice pic.

penpalfriend84, 29 Aug 18, 2012
Beautiful!

lizalapinig, 40 Aug 7, 2012
wow.........nice pix

Ironcookie, 38 Jul 28, 2012
it is Bryce Canyon. even more special i think :)

martinegizmo, 33 Jul 28, 2012
Grand Canyon ???
special there

MilkaMile, 34 Jul 18, 2012
nice pic


Well, just like what one of my penpals said "Niks is waterdicht". Nothing is perfect. There's always a lack. Also on Interpals.

The Missing Piece

When your heart is broken, the communication is difficult to establish. There's a huge barricade.

-Leahism-

Leah, Hot and Cold

What is a relationship actually? What are we looking for? I feel doubt with my decision to choose my Boyf to be my future husband. Do I choose rightly? Do I really want him? Some months ago, I didn't have this feeling. But since he needed a time, three months, for our future, I've been doubting him since then...

Then, I feel that I'm truly like a song titled "Hot and Cold" by Katy Perry.

I change my mind
Like a girl changes clothes
Yeah I PMS
Like a bitch, I would know

And I over think
Always speak critically
You should know
That I'm not good for you

'Cause I'm hot then I'm cold
I am yes then I'm no
I'm in then I'm out
I'm up then I'm down

I'm wrong when it's right
It's black and it's white
We fight, we break up
We kiss, we make up

I!(I)
I don't really want to stay, no(no)
I!(I)
But I don't really want to go-o(go)

I'm hot then I'm cold
I am yes then I'm no
I'm in then I'm out
I'm up then I'm down

We used to be
Just like twins, so in sync
The same energy
Now's its a dead battery

Used to laugh 'bout nothing
Now I'm plain boring
You should know that I'm not gonna change

Someone call the doctor
Got a case of a love bi-polar
Stuck on a roller coaster
Can't get off this ride

I change my mind
Like a girl changes clothes

A Mistress

I am a mistress. A mistress for 6 years. Almost 7 years I may say. I fall in love with a man who has already two women in his life. I came, played, too deep, had fun without concerning the consequences.

I am only his mistress. The fact, He has already an empress and an concubine. They are called 'Freedom' and 'Comfort-zone'. They have been engaged by their parents when they were still young. Their parents even had had that plan when he was not born yet.

Then who am I, the new person in his life?

Mistress is just a mistress: nice, attractive, lovable, adventurous, and seductive, but won't be brought home.

Mistress is just a mistress: she has no right to complain.

Mistress is just a mistress: she has no power to ask any position in his life.

Mistress is just a mistress.

LDR: Conversation

In my last post, I mentioned that my Boyf and I use Whatsapp for daily communication. Last night I teased my Boyf. He is ill due to a skin disease. He was at his work when we had this conversation on WhatsApp:

I: Hey you! Yeah you with the sister of chicken pox! It's time to work, not play facebook.

I: Hey you! Yeah you with the sister of chicken pox! It's time to work, not read WA all the time!

My Boyf: Hey you! Yeah you the girlfriend of the guy with the sister of chicken pox! If you don't post messages on facebook or send messages on WhatsApp then i dont have to check them and can work.

My Boyf: And be nice to your boyfriend... the sister of chicken pox hurts like hell.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Then I talked to myself, "Hey you! Yeah you with the sister of chicken pox! Have I told you that I love you? Yeah you! I love you! Get well soon because I love you!"

Between Tilburg and Yogyakarta,

2014/01/20.

LDR: Communication

Everyday my Boyf and I make a contact via Skype and Whatsapp, sometimes phone. In the past, we were crazy: phone call everyday. Once my Boyf's phone bill was 600 Euro! I used provider Three to make a call, but I must call to his home phone to get a cheap price. About 10 Euro per month for 10 hours. SMS was still a king. We traded a SMS about 2-5 times a day.

On that time, I like phone call more than Skype. The reason was on Skype or Yahoo Messenger I could see clearly the time difference. It was dark in my place but the light was still bright in my Boyf's place. Even we had been online and chatted for many hours, but I like asking him to call me for 2-5 minutes on the phone before going to sleep. Just to hear his voice, closer, as if he was beside me.

Nowadays, everything is changed. Skype and WhatsApp are our fellows. Phone call becomes rare. If I don't have any internet connection for Skype, then my Boyf will make a phone call almost everyday even the duration is not that long anymore. WhatsApp replaces SMS. Anytime we make a contact.

Talking about WhatsApp, my Boyf has it first than I. I knew it in 2011. On that time, I didn't know about WhatsApp. He made a contact, swapped stories with her friends when he was in Indonesia. Even I have a smartphone, but he had no any initiative to tell something like this, "Cinta, install WhatsApp in your smartphone! Thus, we can communicate nicely (and at least cheaper). I use WhatsApp to communicate with my friendsss..." So, ja! I got no saying like that. I was (still) mad (untill now). Then, few months later I installed it with my own initiative.

While the communication technology grows faster and smarter, I feel tired with this LDR. Even technology makes distance and time gone, the six years in LDR is dullable. No matter how sophisticated a technology, but it won't replace an appearance of someone. I fell like Milow's song "Ayo Technology".

Aayooh...
I'm tired of using technology.
I need you right in front of me.

My Colleagues...

Almost ten months, I've been working for this new research center. I believe, my colleagues, mostly they can't stand with my action, my attitude, my behavior, how slow I am, not that agile and spry, et cetera.

One thing that I can't stand is gossiping. Perhaps, for them is usual or just normal. But for me, I'm just uncomfortable. The way how they react on something/someone that they don't like etc.

Of course, I have never known whether they have been gossiping about me or not. But if they indeed like gossiping, talking someone else, they among them have also ever done gossiping about me hehehe...

None the less, there is always black and white. Minus or plus. Despite that thing, I learn a lot from them. They are full of dedication, serious, and hard working.


In the end, it's me who decide: to imitate or not to imitate them.



WELCOME TO REAL LIFE!!!

Dijkzeul...

Sexy is when you really enjoy laughing without hesitation and limitation but still elegant.

-Leahism

Sometimes the Past is so Seductive

"Sometimes the Past is so Seductive"

- Leahism

For me, sometimes the past is indeed so seductive.

How many time have you ever wanted to go to the past? 

You cant deny that sometimes you want to go back to the greatest moment which didn't work out. 

Then you want to fix the mistake or the wrong path of it. 

But Ted Mosbey said that you couldn’t cling to the past because no matter how tightly you held on, it was already gone."

It's indeed hard to face the reality but we must realize that we are like now because the lesson learned of the past.

I also do the same. Not sometimes, but even often.

Lets keep walking and lift up our head!

Are You This Guy?

21 criteria as an ideal husband:

1. Are you smart?
2. Are you single?
3. Are you settled?
4. Are you moslem?
5. Are you romantic? 
6. Do you like racing?
7. Do you like diving?
8. Do you love traveling?
9. Are you a wise person?
10. Are you a Javanese guy?
11. Do you not like violence?
12. Are you sexy in everything?
13. Are you not easy to be angry?
14. Do you speak many languages?
15. Do you like hiking to mountain?
16. Are you good looking, charming & tall?
17. Do you know and understand Javanese habit?
18. Do you know how to act as a Javanese husband?
19. Do you know how to act as a Javanese son in law?
20. Do you treat someone else especially women well?
21. Do you practice "If you marry a woman, you also marry her family"?

# Imagination at the office at 6:49pm

Maturation Process...

"Sometimes taking a right decision is scary and might hurt somebody else."

- Leahism

Going out from the comfort zone. That's what I'm doing right now. And it is so scary.

I'm a spoiled person. Since I was a kid, I feel like I always get what I want. Until nowadays, I have a back-up if I got a problem. I realize that it is not healthy for my life. Someone told me, "You won't get everything what you want." This statement made me mad. It's not in my dictionary. But then this treatment makes me angry or mad if I don't get what I want.

So, now I have to learn from that statement. I always depends on someone, but then I find out that these someone can't give everything I want. So, I want to stand, to stand alone.

Simple is not Always Simple

"Menjadi normal itu mahal. Being normal is expensive"

- Leahism

I'm Scared...

I'm scared... And it looks scary but not that horror. Well, that's is my thinking about:

1. So skinny girl.
2. Different act.

One of my friends was very skinny. Thanks God, she's bigger a bit now. Oh, my! I said to her, "You are very skinny." Then she replied, "Ough! I'm still fat, I need more skinny if I want to be a model." So, ya. I couldn't say anything about that. But, I was afraid to hug her. I was afraid, she will be broken like a fragile glass. I was afraid that her bone will be broken into pieces. Last time I saw two girls with that condition. And I just couldn't see them any longer.

I'm also scared with a girl I know. Normally when she came, her face looked grumpy, not friendly. Well, this girl also dislikes me apparently. Once, I asked a question to her, she replied me without looking at me but busy with her computer. Lately, I saw twice that she has a bit smile on her face. I saw, she tried to have a smiley face. It looks fake but hmmmm... Ok. Maybe, she's changed.

But still, I'm scared...

I'm A Disaster and God's gift: One Package

It has been a while I didn't listen this song which produced in 2008. It has been five years, but today, this time, it is the first time for me laughing due to this song. I took a notice the lyric and it is just funny but cute. I talked to myself, "My Boyf must sing this song for me.". Here we go, the lyric in English:

People said you are a witch

For me, you are Britney Spears

Oh oh…

I love you, Baby

People said you are like a crocodile

For me, you are Luna Maya

Oh oh…

I love you, Baby

I love you

This affection is only for you…

For you… for you…

People said you are a disaster

For me, you are a gift from God

Oh oh…

I love you, Babe

I don’t care whatever people say

For me, you are everything

Oh oh…

I love you, Baby

I love you

This affection is only for you…

For you… for you…

Why did I laugh?  I have marked with bold to three words there: witch, crocodile, and disaster.

Witch

For me, I'm like a witch. I'm not that friendly, I look grumpy all the time if I don't smile, and oftenly my statements and my thinking may hurt someone else.

If I take a notice, most people I know they don't look forward to meet me again. I'm not a miss-able, likeable, or loveable person. Only my Boyf and few people who like to meet and catch up with me again. So, ya. It's so him.

Crocodile

A crocodile or in Indonesian idiom means playboy / sexually aggressive male. Then I'm a playgirl. For some of my friends, I'm a crocodile or playgirl. In my case, I still like to flirt and very easy to fall in "like" with someone. But my best friend said that I couldn't handcuff my charm. Hahaha... While for my Boyf, I'm a best girlfriend. hehehe..

Disaster

My mom and sister (also my friends) once said that I'm a disaster for my Boyf. I told about it to my Boyf. He answered, "Nah! You are the best thing I ever have in my life."

Well, I can't help his thinking about me hahaha.. He just said to me that I'm pure. Original. Lol...

Leah the Amphibian

"You may call me hypocrite, I call myself: flexible, amphibian, alter ego, elastic, lithe, supple, and 50-50."

Leahism

Shall We Buy A Gecko for Our House?

My Boyf gave me the video above. Then asked, "Zullen wij het kopen voor ons huis?" "Shall we buy it for our house?"

Wahahaha... Of course not. I won't buy it and I won't let him to buy it. It is so ironic. Why should I buy it for my house, while at home in Banyuwangi we kill them? When I was young, there was a gecko in my sister's room. It was behind her closet. We were all scared. I heard they bite. Then we called our neighbor. He helped us catching the gecko and killed it. There were geckos twice in several years in my sister's room, we killed them twice as well. So, of course I won't have gecko as my pet. When I told about it, his answer was: "Asians are cruel."

He really likes tokeh. He has never seen it yet, but he has ever heard its sound when he was in Banyuwangi. Tokeh. Tokeh. Tokeh. "Well, it is a big big no, bibeh."

Boring vs Predictable

I just watched a movie titled "Good Deeds" played by Tyler Perry. I've been thinking about one of the conversations between Wesley and her fiancee Natalie on the bed.

Wesley: How can you be so sure?
Natalie: What, baby?
Wesley: That I'm not cheating. You know, a jealousy would be nice.

Natalie: Baby, you always do the same thing.

Wesley: Are you saying that I'm boring?

Natalie: No. I'm saying that you eat the same thing everyday, go to work the same time everyday, when we make love you do it the same way every time. I'm saying, you are predictable.

On that conversation, Natalie doesn't think that Wesley is cheating on her because she knows exactly how her man is. I might say that she's also right about boring and predictable. They are different. Boring is not the same with predictable. But, in my opinion both has a same thing in common: they are dangerous for a relationship. Predictable boyfriend may lead a boring feeling for his girlfriend, vice versa.

At the beginning, he/she can accept it the behavior or the attitude but how long it will be last if actually it's a matter for one partner. Perhaps he/she didn't mention it before, but it keeps annoying him/her. But how long he/she will keep it. I don't believe that human has a huge tolerance. Finally, they are tired to face it and they just can't deal with it anymore.

Then, what should we do? I have no answer. You may tell your feeling about it to your partner or you don't tell your feeling to your partner because you don't wanna change your partner. Then, it's your decision.
Talking about the movie, I think it's a boring movie because I already predicted before that in the end Wesley and Lindsey will be together. Wesley will invite Lindsey and Ariel come to Africa together. Plus, Lindsey and Ariel are already on the plane, even the scene shows that Lindsey doesn't come to the airport when Wesley is waiting for her. But, well, people loves drama. This movie has no dramatic end.

Leah is a drama queen!

Charity from Traveling

Charity from Traveling is my idea after I came to Raja Ampat in 2011. In 2012 I already made a website after one of outbond participants from Australia suggested that I must make a Paypal account. Until now I don't have it. Well, I have signed it but I don't have credit card yet to verify my account. This month, finally I launch the website into public. No Paypal yet but I think that there's no reason to postpone it any longer.

This charity aims to build a library and teach English in one of elementary school in Raja Ampat. I collect donation and also books for elementary school or children. So, please... If you concern in building education, help me to give a chance for those students.

Check the website out!!!
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