My neighbor called Yoyok has a girlfriend, they love each other. But, his girlfriend's grandma (the girl lives with her grandma) likes other guy from Muncar for the girl, and dislike Yoyok (as the guy from Muncar brings more gifts everytime he makes a visit). Meanwhile, his girlfriend's father likes Yoyok. So, that couple decided to what it is called mencuri anak gadis or "stealing a girl".
Stealing a girl can't be done automaticly. The girl should agree that she's being stolen by her boyfriend. For example, if you (male) fall in love with a girl, but the girl you loved doesn't love you, so she dissagree being stolen. In this case it's not stealing a girl. But trenchantly, you bring her away with you. Don't ever try to do that unless you want to be caught by police and go to jail. Back to stealing a girl, when the couple agrees to take that way, the purpose is to get married in the end. While the girl is staying in her boyfriend's place, the boyfriend will send someone (usually one or two of his family members) to the girl's house to let to know the girl's family that the guy name bla bla bla is stealing their daughter. When it happens, like or not the girl's family will let their daughter to get married soon.
Until now, I don't see and meet that girl yet. Today, my mom told me that they will get married in 28th-29th of July. Usually, the habit of holding wedding here is in bride's place. In stealing a girl case, the wedding will be held by the groom family. They who take the responsibility due to stealing a daughter from one family.
Stealing a girl is one of cultures in my place, Banyuwangi. There's no community sunction nor reporting to a police. Law can't frame the man as they like and love each other. The responsibily by doing it is the boyfriend must marry his girlfriend. Yup!!! The custom says they just need to get married. So, do you wanna steal your girlfriend? hehehe... you choose.
It reminds me when I was still young. Used to, I thaught that I will let my boyfriend to steal me if my family disagree with our relationship. Sometimes, love is blind, isn't it? But now, I don't think so I let my boyfriend to do that to me. As a mature person, communication is important. Well, I don't disagree about stealing a girl as it's not ashamed thing. It's just me who not let that happen to myself.
I believe, there are so many ways to ensure our family about our boyfriend and the relationship itself which we try to build. By soft approachment like telling a bit the good side of our boyfriend everytime we have conversation or when spending the time together with our family. But, I don't think so a thinking about "pregnant before married" just because to let our parents agree with the relationship we have, becomes one of the way.
Be smart!!!! It's not the end of the world!!!!
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